... But the greatest of these is love.

Today, Virg was baptized. He was a real champ. No crying, or strange looks at the pastor while the water was put on his head. Everyone said he was real cute, and they loved his little white outfit (got it on sale at Kohl's). Virg would like to thank everyone that was able to make it for the big day, both in person and in spirit. The coolest thing about the picture above is that it shows Virg surrounded by love, and that's just the people who could fit into the picture frame.

Virg can read your mind!

Yes, it's true Virg can read your mind. It won't be much longer before he can control your thoughts as well. Don't worry, for the most part he will just give you a strong urge to drink warm milk (possibly with some cocoa in it) and take naps.

What!!! You don't believe he can read your mind? You should never doubt the Virg! Fine, he'll prove it.

Pick a number between 10 and 99. Now, take the two digits that make up that number and add them together. Now take that result and subtract it from the original number you picked. Now, if the number you ended up with is a two digit number, add those two digits together. If you feel left out because your number only has a single digit you can add zero to your number... feel better? Now prepare to be amazed!

Is This Your Number?!?!

(... he also knows what you did last summer. Shame on you!)

Where has Virg been?

You may be asking yourself why you haven't seen much of Virg lately. Well, it all has to do with the uncanny attraction a child has to a new pile of leaves. I'm sure you all remember seeing that new pile of leaves in the yard. Without any conscious thought of your own, your small body was drawn to the pile with a gravitational attraction equal to that of a black hole. I was surprised at how early this attraction began with Virg. But whenever I thought I had a free minute to write on the blog, I would look up and say "Where's Virg?". The first time it happened, I just about went through my 19th nervous break down, but now I just mosey on over to the leaf pile. There you'll find Virg, calm and relaxed in a nice cool, crunchy pile of autumn leaves.

I can see my house from up here...

Here we can see Virg almost to the peak of Mt. Procrastination. It was a long and arduous trek, but the view is breathtaking.

Down in the valley of this mountain you can hear the Mommy and Daddy calling to each other in the early morning "Have you seen any clean socks?" "I saw one in that small glade of underpants over there." They are a small and simple tribe of people with ancient stories of something called 'Folds'. But even if some of the elders claim to remember the days-of-old when there were no wrinkles, Virg believes they are all just fairy tails used to scare small children.

Daylight savings... aka Time Travel

It was bound to happen sooner or later. When will humans learn that we can't play with the forces of nature without consequence? Every year we time travel one hour forward in the Spring, and one hour back in the Fall. Well, we set our clocks back an hour last night, and this morning we found Virg had time traveled all the way back to the early 1930's. He was saying things like:

"The only thing that prohibition is helping is the growing black market for alcohol and the violent gangsters who profit from it."
"The whole reason we are in the this financial mess is because of the unfounded belief that the market could sustain the high stock prices of the 'Roaring Twenties'."
"Herbert Hoover wouldn't have won the presidency if the market crash would have hit just a few months earlier. Worst president ever!"

He's sooooo cute when he complains about the state of the world! They say history repeats itself, but this is ridiculous.

BumbleVirg

The science community is at a loss, and it's time we find out what's causing CCD in our honey bee hives across this great nation of ours. Only Virg has the ability and cuteness to infiltrate the hive and find out what the buzz is all about. It's a dangerous mission, but Virg is prepared with the best costume available (for under $20.) According to his findings, it turns out it's just bad gas. Virg taught the Queen how to burp like a pro. Now, all we can do is wait, pray, and listen for little bee burps.

Virg-O-Lantern

Once the candle was put out by Virg's bum, things went as smoothly as can be imaged for placing a baby in a pumpkin. Some people say pumpkin pie is their comfort food, but for Virg, pumpkins are literally comfortable food.

Behold the Pumpkin King