The Virg of Happiness: Bring us food... and maybe you can hold Virg.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Bring us food... and maybe you can hold Virg.

I'm not promising anything, but I have started to noticed a trend. If someone brings us food, they usually end up holding Virg. It's just our way of saying "Please hold this while I consume the calories you've just provided... who are you again?"

Please note, you can not just bring us anything and expect to hold Virg. It must be consumable and non-lethal. We had a man come to our door selling pest control. He was offering to fill all our walls and crawl space with a toxic chemical that would instantly kill all insects and small rodents. I've often wondered what my facial expression must have looked like to him after he made his offer. As a new father of a week old baby, I must have been thinking something between "How much bigger is Virg then the largest rodent in my house, and could Virg take him in a fair fight?" and "Hello Satan! What bring you to my humble home?"

Needless to say, he did not get to hold Virg. In fact I politely asked him to not stand so close to our home... for the next ten years.