What to do when Virg turns two?

How about an apple tree?  Virg had a good time picking one out for his birthday.  Not a shrub or a bush or a hedge, but a tree.  A red jonagold apple dwarf to be precise.  It will be soooo cool.  We'll make apple pie, and hard cider, and apple sauce, and hard cider, and apple butter, and hard cider, and maybe even some apple cider.  It's the gift that keeps on giving... and giving and giving until you go blind.  It will be just like the Dukes of Hazzard.  Where Virg is Bo Duke and Emmett is Luke Duke and I'm Uncle Jesse getting in trouble with the law for making moonshine.  And NO... we will not be replacing Bo and Luke Duke with Coy and Vance Duke after three seasons!  That's just redunkulous.

 For my 3rd birthday I'd like a 1969 Dodge Charger please.
"Yeeeee-Haaa!"