Feeding Time!

It's hard work being a brother.  The time commitment was more than Virg expected, but he has to constantly remind Mommy and Daddy that it's time to change the baby or time to feed the baby.  Mommy seems to have a better time at understanding what's needed.  Daddy just kind of stands there with a glassy look in his eye's saying "The baby is crying again!"... Thanks Daddy, like we couldn't have figure that one out with your extraordinary talent of stating the obvious.

No No Daddy, do it like this.  It's all in the wrist.

Why so serious?

It was a morning like any other.  Daddy had a full night sleep (No I didn't!), and everyone woke up at a reasonable hour (How is 4:30 AM reasonable?)  Virg and Daddy had one of the yummiest and nutritious breakfasts a person could ask for (Oh! I think I could ask for more than stale Cheerios and Kix!).  Then the unthinkable happened.  A tragic peanut butter and jelly accident scarred Virg for life (No actually, the jelly came right off with a wet paper towel.  Virg is fine.)  Virg then turned to a life of crime, and from that day forth the world would shudder any time they heard his name (Um, actually, we just went outside to play in the sand and then took a nap.  Who's in charge of this blog!  None of this is true and it's all ridiculously over dramatized.)  Tragically, the Daddy died and nobody even noticed (That's it! This blog post is over!).

Daddy, you're so grumpy when I don't let you sleep.  Smile!

I see the light at the end of the tunnel now

Someone please tell me it's not a train. When daddy pulls out the train tracks to play with Virg, we may get as elaborate as an oval track.  Nothing that takes up too much space, or that you could trip over, or that takes too long to make.  In other words... boring.  But when Virg's grandpa comes to visit, it's a different story.  First, you can say goodbye to the dining room.  It's now the train yard.  All the tracks must be utilized, even the tricky bridges and switch tracks that Daddy always avoids by saying "Those don't work. Let's put those back."  It's a virtual entertainment landmine of trains, tracks and fun.

Can we keep it this way - we don't really need this room!

What're you rebelling against?

It always happens this way.  The boys grow up, get some wheels of their own and all of the sudden they give you nothing but attitude.  Now that Virg has his red tricycle, all he wants to do is cruise up and down the lawn, looking at his parents like they don't know what's what.  Daddy tried to talk to him about the responsibilities of being a man.  Virg needs to get a job and contribute to society.  Stop all this daydreaming, and come back to reality.  Maybe program a sentient being that will bring order to the Internet, or build a robot army to fight the inevitable zombie epidemic of the future.

What am I rebelling against?  Whaddya got? ... does it have cheese?

Moss Guy, episode 263

There was a movie back in 1982 that you may recall.  It had something to do with a brilliant scientist, a swamp, a damsel in distress, and a monstrous thing.  Can't remember the name.  It was something like 'Swamp Guy' or 'Moss Thing'.  If I remember correctly, the main character was super smart (just like Virg), had a yard that needed a lot of upkeep (just like Virg), and 101 reasons not to do any yard word (just like Daddy).  Grass is overrated anyhow.  Moss is soft, free, and doesn't require any time to maintain.  Besides, I don't want Virg wasting all his time maintaining a beautiful, lush lawn.  I'm doing this for the children!  Won't someone think of the children! 

The moss is calling out to you Daddy... it says keep up the good work!

Too hot to handle

When life throws you lemons, RUN!... Don't try and make lemon juice or look for some hidden optimistic reasoning behind the barrage of lemons.  You have lemons being thrown at you, just run... run you fool!  Once you have a safe distance between you and the lemon cannons, sit back, fill up a kiddie pool with your favorite beverage and relax.  You just survived an attack that very few have ever seen and even fewer have probably survived.  Have you ever heard anyone recount their harrowing escape from the Lemon Army Front or LAF.  I didn't think so!

Virg + water + hint of lemon = Blockbuster Movie of 2012 

What to do when Virg turns two?

How about an apple tree?  Virg had a good time picking one out for his birthday.  Not a shrub or a bush or a hedge, but a tree.  A red jonagold apple dwarf to be precise.  It will be soooo cool.  We'll make apple pie, and hard cider, and apple sauce, and hard cider, and apple butter, and hard cider, and maybe even some apple cider.  It's the gift that keeps on giving... and giving and giving until you go blind.  It will be just like the Dukes of Hazzard.  Where Virg is Bo Duke and Emmett is Luke Duke and I'm Uncle Jesse getting in trouble with the law for making moonshine.  And NO... we will not be replacing Bo and Luke Duke with Coy and Vance Duke after three seasons!  That's just redunkulous.

 For my 3rd birthday I'd like a 1969 Dodge Charger please.
"Yeeeee-Haaa!"