Climate Change - and it's not Global Warming!

So, it's been a bit chilly lately.  In fact, we're in the middle of July, and can't seem to break 70 degrees more than once a week.  It's been so cold and wet, that the growing season seems to be all but hopelessly stalled.  No tomatoes in our garden this year.  Slugs are at an all-time high, so no running barefoot through the grass without squishing a bunch of them on your feet (Icki-poo!  Can someone say SANI-WIPES?)  You can see it in Virg's wardrobe which is about 4 months behind the normal season.  Just wait for our line of fabulous fur-lined snowsuits we'll be rolling out in August.

April:  here we see Virg sporting his puffy down anorak with hood for Easter.

May: next we have Virg in his flannel-lined wind-breaker with rake. 

June: here Virg layers a jaunty, wool-lined hoody 

with an orange wind-breaker and rain boots for a stroll around the park.

July:  winding it up, here we see Virg in his traffic-orange, 

double-thick hooded sweatshirt ready for a backyard picnic.

 Can someone say brrrrrr?

Help! Cute little zombies in the backyard

You know it's time to pack up and leave town when cute little zombies start popping up in the backyard.  You have simply got no chance against them.  If the zombies were old, wore ratty clothes, made grunting sounds and smelled like rotten eggs, you'd never think twice about blasting them out of existence.  But when they're 2 feet tall, wearing their best Carter's outfits, making little googoo sounds, and only drooling a little bit, it's a tough call.  Their legendary cuteness can be mesmerizing until they are almost on top of you and then they have you right where they want you - and it's too late.  You're pretty much defenseless in these circumstances, except for the one magic card that never fails to turn them right around and get them running the other way in a hurry:  threat of a diaper change.   

We're coming to get you (and drool all over your shirt)!

Birthday Bike 3.0

It's hard to believe Virg is all ready for his first bike.  Virg has officially gone multi-modal.  He's on the fast track now. Just call him Virg-lightnin'.  He's taking life by the handlebars and not letting go.  It's going to be a bumpy ride, so hold on to your hats and bring your knee-pads.  Full steam ahead.  There's no backtracking here, and you better watch out, 'cause pretty soon the gloves (and training wheels) are coming off!

The mechanics at work. 

Daddy appears to be reading the instructions...

something's not right here.

I think I see something, no maybe not.

Daddy is still reading the instructions

(what in the world?!) 

Meanwhile Virg is moving on with the multi-tool.

I'm not sure that Daddy read the instructions entirely correctly.

The man and his machine...

What would we do without Daddy?!

So, once again, it's time for Mommy to organize a coup de blog, and take over for a few posts to celebrate Father's Day.  This year, the theme is:  What would we do without our daddy?  Who would (in the words of Virg, and in no particular order):

• get up at o'dark thirty and get me cheerios and milk without even spilling, while his eyes are still closed? 
• go mining in the clothes pile for a pair of clean socks and come out with at least two for me to wear to daycare every day (matching or not)?
• break out the mac n' cheese and hot dogs when mommy can't think of anything else to make for dinner?
• sit next to me while I'm learning to use the potty and teach me how to go like a big boy?
• take me to the merry-go-round at the Supermall and then to Red Robin for steamin' hot mac n' cheese on Saturday mornings?
• put an end to the bed-time antics and finally get me to go to sleep at night?
• drive for seven hours straight (which ends up being more like ten and a half hours when you stop for potty breaks and rest stops every 60 miles) to get us to great grandma and grandpa's house to visit for a day and a half and then turn around and drive us back again?
• come upstairs and do tickle fingers to stop all the crying when mommy's hands get too full?
• take us to church thirty minutes past when the worship service started (even though he hates being late) and play with me in the nursery the whole time (so he can't hear the sermon anyway), just so mommy, brother and I can say 'hi' to Pastor Keat on Sundays?
• read "Green Eggs and Ham" before bed, every night, like he really means it?
• make me see how important it is to share with brother?
• find the funniest You-tube videos of babies and puppies that you've ever seen?

Who would?  Only my daddy!

Can someone please snap the picture?

My cheeks are starting to hurt.

Merry Christmas ... in 57 simple steps.

Christmas is a time many parent dread because it involves unpacking children's toys (practically impossible) and assembling children's toys (virtually impossible).  But, as it has been pointed out before, Virg and Daddy can fix/assemble anything with ease.  But how, you ask?  Virg can tell you that there are three simple steps.  First, throw away the instructions, they will only lead to frustration and confusion.  Second, and this is the most important, improvise.  The pictures on the box are only one persons interpretation of what the toy should look like once completely assembled.  Finally, learn to live in an imperfect world.  Sure, there are five to ten peaces you didn't use when building the toy.  It's called conservation, so congratulations, you're saving the world.  And if anyone comments on why it doesn't look like it does on the box, just tell them "Because the toy isn't selling awesome, you have to add that yourself!"

Perfect, now hold still while I get the trebuchet. 

Luthier's apprentice

A wise man once said "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you'll find him on his boat every Sunday, drinking beer, wishing you'd given him more than one stinking fish"... or something along those lines.  However, if you teach that same man to play the banjo, he'll sing you an up beat song about how you did him wrong, and how he ended up standing at the edge of the river, holding the last train ticket for a town called Heartbreak.  Virg and Daddy have found that the banjo has a magical ability to make the most depressing, sad, and vengeful songs sound like the happiest music on earth.  Virg may not have the money for a new banjo, but luckily Virg and Daddy can fix anything.  They may even write a song about it.   

All this banjo needs is some TLC and a whack with a hammer!

Pumpkin whisperer

What should you carve on your pumpkin?  Just do what Virg and Daddy do. Let the pumpkin speak to you, and it will tell you what to do.  It's simple, just stare at the pumpkin until you start to hear voices, then you grab a knife and start stabbing and slashing.  It's wholesome fun for the whole family and really gets you into the spirit of Halloween.  It helps if you eat loads of candy and get yourself a massive sugar rush first.  Although Virg and Daddy found that extra caution is needed when you're holding a pumpkin carving knife and have artistic differences as to what the pumpkin is telling you.  Your pumpkin will end up looking like it has a split personality.

The large fruit says Virg is super cute as Pooh Bear...

the large fruit is the pumpkin in this case, not Daddy.